When my kids started coming home sick after visits with their grandmother, Eileen, I brushed
it off at first. But deep down, I felt uneasy. Nathan, my husband, always downplayed my concerns,
saying, āIt builds character.ā One Saturday, I dropped Alex and Ben at Eileenās house and headed home,
only to realize I had forgotten their bag. When I returned, I heard Eileen through the open window,
instructing the boys to do push-ups in the freezing cold, wearing nothing but their underwear.
My heart sank. I rushed inside, demanding an explanation. Eileen, unbothered, claimed it was to ābuild character,ā
insisting I was too soft on them. āThey need to be strong,ā she said. My boysā faces were red from the cold,
and it broke my heart. On the way home, I asked what usually happened at Grandmaās. Alex explained,
āWe have to sleep with the windows open, do exercises, and only get extra food or blankets if we do well.ā
Ben added, āGrandma says it makes us strong like Dad.ā When we arrived home, Nathan was confused about our
early return. I confronted him, furious. To my shock, he defended his motherās methods, saying itās how he
was raised. āIt made me resilient,ā he said. But I couldnāt agree. āThis is not discipline, Nathan.
This is abuse,ā I replied, determined to put an end to it. Nathan seemed conflicted, but I was clear:
our childrenās health and well-being had to come first, no matter his upbringing