“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny,

“can you give me twenty dollars?”

“Certainly not!” answered his mother.

“If you do,”

Little Johnny went on,

“I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”

His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
“Well? what did he say?”

“He said, ‘Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.’”

Little Johnny And His Father Went Fishing

Little Johnny and his father went fishing one day.

After a couple of hours out in the boat, Little Johnny suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father,

“How does this boat float?”

The father thought for a moment, then replied,

“I don’t rightly know, son.”

Little Johnny returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father,

“How do fish breath underwater?”

Once again the father replied,

“Don’t rightly know, son.”

A little later Little Johnny asked,

“Why is the sky blue?”

Again, the father replied.

“Don’t rightly know, son.”

Worried he is going to annoy his father, he says,

“Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”

“Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions … you’ll never learn anything!”

Little Johnny Asks His Mother About Her Chest.

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says,

“Mom, what are those things on your chest!?”

Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn’t forget.

The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says,

“Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnny’s’ dad comes home from work a few hours early.

Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically,

“Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!!”

His father says,

“Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”

“Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s’ balloons and she’s screaming, “Oh God, I’m coming!”