The First Date That Turned Into an Invoice

When Eric showed up to our first date with roses and a monogrammed keychain bearing my initials, I thought I’d found a true gentleman.

Charming and courteous, he insisted on paying for dinner, calling it “a man’s duty.” The night was pleasant—no sparks, but promising.

Then came the twist. The next morning, instead of a sweet message, I received an itemized invoice titled “Date Night – Amount Due.” It included charges like:

Bouquet of Roses – 1 hug

Custom Keychain – 1 coffee date

Dinner – A guaranteed second date

Polite Conversation – A compliment

Transportation – A voice note saying I’m ‘worth it’

And the kicker: “Failure to comply may result in collection — via Chris.” Yes, our mutual friend.

I sent it to Mia (my best friend) who called Chris, Eric’s roommate. Horrified, Chris clapped back

with a revenge invoice demanding: public apologies, dish duty, and donations to the “National Dating Therapy Fund.”

Eric freaked out, claiming I missed his “sense of humor.” I blocked him.

The keychain now hangs on my corkboard — a trophy from the weirdest date ever. Lesson learned: sometimes, the only thing a man should pay for is his own nerve.